secrets to a successful relationship

If you love well you are more likely to live well. Studies show people in successful relationships are generally healthier and happier. So what's their secret?

Successful partners appreciate what one another brings to the relationship and actively work to keep the spark alive. They put the same amount of time and energy into their relationship as they put into other areas of their lives. Couples who continue to renew and enrich their relationships also know that trust and commitment are essential ingredients to nurture their partnership.

Here are ways you can strengthen your relationship each and every day.

1. Show affection—small gestures count. Quiet acts like being tender, stroking, pecks on the cheek, or holding hands can send big messages of love.


2. Be patient—learn to accept your partner's unique qualities. Some things can't be changed, so learn ways that you and your partner can compromise and accept each other's differences.


3. Listen carefully—showing interest is as simple as listening and participating in a conversation. Be a good listener by nodding, responding with "uh-huhs," and looking directly into your partner's eyes.


4. Be thoughtful—small acts that show you care help to increase the love in a relationship. Take out the trash, plan a special meal, surprise your partner with flowers, or plan a special date with your partner.


5. Show appreciation—you can create a circle of love simply by appreciating your relationship. Tell your partner the ways that he pleases you and makes you happy. Recognizing all the little things that your partner does day to day helps him feel loved and confident enough to show his love in return.


6. Be gentle and understanding—be supportive of your partner and show your concern when he tells you about his worries or unloads his stress. Put yourself in his shoes and try to relate to his situation.


7. Be open-minded—listen to your partner's point of view before you disagree. Part of accepting someone else's point of view is being a good listener. You don't have to agree, but try to see where your partner is coming from and validate his opinions.


8. No blows below the belt—learn to fight fair, since disagreements are part of any healthy relationship. Listen and respond with respect. Losing control and becoming emotional rarely helps solve any problem.

Learn to emphasize the positives of your relationships and downplay your weaknesses. Successful partners take responsibility for their relationships, respect each other, and foster love and trust for each other.